L'année dernière j'avais fait une note très controversée qui s'appelait "je hais noël" nonobstant le fait que cette année je ne dirais probablement pas "je hais Noël" mais bel et bien "j'haïs Noël"; plusieurs personnes m'ont demandé pourquoi cette année je ne pestais pas particulièrement contre les fêtes.....
Alors....
Ben cette année je vous dirais plutôt que "j'haïs l'hiver"... Déjà parce qu'il a commencé trop tôt, même pas le temps de m'y faire.... Ensuite parce que 3 tempêtes de neiges majeures en un temps record et un Maire Tremblay qui nous prend pour des billes, ça va faire.....
Par ailleurs "j'haïs la France" et ses représentantes de l'Écureuil qui me rappellent que je vis loin de ce pays sclérosé où l'arrogance et l'ignorance sont monnaie courante... "J'haïs le code Iban" de toute façon.....
J'haïs le décalage horaire qui rend tout compliqué...
"J'haïs Sarko" qui nous fait croire que c'est pas exprès qu'il nous sort sa romance à l'eau de boudin avec une représentante décérébrée et démesurée de mon propre sexe.... Une de ces romances qui nous ferait presque oublier Kadhafi..... Merci la com'....
"J'haïs Tim Hortons" qui s'est installé au coin de ma rue..... glurps.... Tout ça parce que j'aime trop les Timbits roussettes au miel....
"J'haïs les matérialistes" dans le sens commun du terme, j'aime y donner un sens particulier et "J'haïs le sens commun" en plus....
"J'haïs être au travail par un jeudi plate...." Et "j'haïs le 535" qui m'a fait poireauter 15 minutes; ben oui y en a qui bossent......
"J'haïs les balances" Parce qu'il faut bien se peser après s'être rempli la panse....
"J'haïs les nausées..."
"J'haïs Bell" Parce qu'ils ont pas de forfait pour la France....
"J'haïs les escaliers extérieurs" Car si ils sont beaux, c'est un casse-tête à déneiger....
"J'haïs les cartes téléphoniques" qui coupent automatiquement après 1h20 de blabla et te chargent 120 minutes..... Passer plus de 4 heures au téléphone quand on est plus ado c'est un record, non ?
"J'haïs le fromage"; surtout quand je tend ma carte de crédit pour le payer... Et que j'ai conscience de m'endetter sur 3 générations.
"J'haïs les records..." Surtout qu'en ce moment les records impliquent forcément le mot neige ou le mot froid..... Argggghhhh...
Bref je ne peste pas contre Noël mais rassurez-vous je continue à pester; à râler ou à chîaler (dépendamment de quel coté de l'Atlantique vous vous trouvez!!!!) et je suis en pleine forme.....
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